30 Days of Me, Life

30 Days of Me – A Bad Habit I Want To Quit


Looking at my life, there are tons of bad habits that I want to quit.  One of the biggest ones isn’t a physical thing like nail-biting, but it’s one that lies within myself – how I view myself.

Okay, so maybe it’s a little physical.  My self-image issues started when I was in high school.  There were some underlying issues during that time that I will probably discuss later, but it only got worse as I got older.

Fortunately, during the course of my relationship with Husband, my views of myself greatly changed.  It definitely makes a difference when you are in a relationship that doesn’t base itself on making you feel sh*tty so you stay.  But, with the rising stress and other issues in my life, physical changes started to happen that really took a punch to my self-image issues.

For one, when I was around the age of 21, I started losing my hair.  I had so many bald spots on my head that I didn’t even want to go out.  It was made worse when I took showers, so I avoided doing that at all cost and used baby wipes to wipe myself down instead of losing more hair.

I’m still not entirely sure why that happened, but it stopped and my hair grew back.  I’m pretty sure it was related to stress, but my stress level has only gotten worse at this point so it’s purely theories.

It got to the point where I was okay with myself.  I didn’t think that I was drop dead gorgeous or anything but I tolerated myself.  Then, my physical appearance took another punch by being diagnosed with psoriasis.  My psoriasis left my skin scaly and red.

This is where I am at today.  My flare-ups are very persistent and psoriasis has caused me lots of pain and a feeling of being alone.  I was very fortunate to have found a support group on Facebook where I can connect with others who feel like me.  It has helped my image issues greatly by understanding that my psoriasis doesn’t define who I am.

If there is anything that you should take from this, it’s no matter who you are, what you are going through, or what you look like, your beauty is not defined by how you look.  Beauty is not in the face; beauty is in the light of the heart.  That quote from Kahlil Gibran is so important to know and remember.

It’s something that I will probably be working on for a while, but I am so thankful to have made the progress that I have.

What is a bad habit that you want to quit?


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