My daughter announced to me on Valentine’s Day that she has a boyfriend. I was absolutely shocked because, for one, my daughter is one of the most innocent people I know. The idea of her having a boyfriend was something I hadn’t expected to deal with for a while. For another thing, my daughter is six.
Yes, my six year old daughter informed me that she had a boyfriend and she was going to marry him. I figured I would have to dance carefully around this subject because, knowing a woman’s heart, I imagined she’d be quite protective of her beau.
This is the conversation that unfolded:
Daughter: Mom, I have a boyfriend. His name is Jude and I’m going to marry him.
Me: Is that right?
Daughter: Yes. He sits next to me in class and he calls me his girlfriend and I call him my boyfriend. I love him. He’s so handsome.
Me: Aren’t you a little young to start dating?
Daughter: Well, we’re not DATING. I’m going to date until I’m 16 and have a car.
Me: So you just call each other boyfriend and girlfriend then?
Daughter: Yep. We gave each other special valentines too. He gave me my favorite candy and I gave him two tattoos instead of one.
I thought for a bit about using this opportunity to give “the talk” about how she isn’t going to date until she’s married and she shouldn’t be thinking about boys but then a few thoughts crossed my mind.
- She is just calling him her boyfriend. I remember when I was a year older than her I had a “boyfriend” too.
- She is at least sensible enough to not date until she’s 16 with a car.
- If being boyfriend and girlfriend means sitting next to each other in class and exchanging special valentines I think I can survive.
I feel that letting her have her boyfriend in all its innocence isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I find it completely harmless (until innocent kisses are involved). In fact, until she’s really old enough to distinguish what having a boyfriend entails, which I am hoping will be when she’s actually old enough to date), I think I might let this play out and chuckle to myself when she comes home with stories of her boyfriend. Plus, who am I to stand in the way in case they really are going to get married. It’d make for a great anecdote at their wedding.
What are your views on “boyfriends”, “girlfriends”, and the real thing? What are your rules on dating involving your young ones? Comment below!