Parenting

The single mom (and dad) nation

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I found having a job and a life is difficult.  I found also that having a job, a life, and a child is especially difficult.  Having a mom and a dad to help care for children makes the difficulty easier, but what happens to the single moms and dads who have to take care of their children themselves?

If a child is sick, the mom and dad can split time at work so one person is at home at all times.  If a child is sick when there is only one parent, that one parent has to stay home until their child is better.  Then, the parent usually gets sick in turn.

Single parents work just as hard or harder for their children.  Yet, they are still expected to keep up with everything and have the same work ethic as the parent who has the help or the employee with no child at all.

While I am not an advocate of having special treatment, I believe that single parents get the short end of the stick a lot of the time.  For me, being a single parent was a choice, but it was a choice I made for the better of my daughter and me.  I am still suffering the consequences of my choice, but I am happy.

I fear taking time off, my sick time is depleted, and scheduling my work schedule is difficult to be able to spend time with my daughter.  On top of that, trying to find childcare is a nightmare.  I don’t know how high-schoolers think they can get away with charging more than I make at 24 years old, but I will try my luck with someone else.

I love my daughter.  She is my life.  I don’t regret any choices I have made in my life, but sometimes I wish things were different.  When I mention I’m a single parent, I get one of two looks.  It’s either the look of pity, “Oh, you poor thing.  Working full-time, going to school, AND taking care of a young one?  God bless you.” (I don’t need your pity, thanks though.)  or it’s the look of disgust, “Wow, you must have screwed things up big time in order to get in the position your in.” (Ya, fuck you too.)  I’m not asking for special treatment, because this is the life I chose, but I guess in a way, I am.

If you are a single parent, no, if you are a parent, supervisors, bosses, upper management should try to work with you.

My daughter had pneumonia and was admitted to the hospital.  Like any mother, I stayed in the hospital for a week with her.  When I came back to my job, I was fired for not being available.  I was fired for being a mom first.  What’s wrong with that?

What do you think?  Should parents get special treatment and extra time off because they have children?

3 thoughts on “The single mom (and dad) nation”

  1. Well, as like everything else in this country goes, we are expected to raise children who are better than we are, yet given absolutely no resources to do so. We are expected to have them attend school every day ( awards for perfect attendance- great you didn’t get sick all year- and if you did, wel you don’t get an award so you suck for having an immune system) we send them to over crowded schools that take away their freedom to move ( 20 minute recess for a 6 hour day- stay I’m your seat – you’re 8 years old- stop wiggling- you must have ADHD – take drugs). We don’t give our families paid leave for having a baby or extra sick time for having 2 or more possible sick people. We are expected to raise perfect people yet never get the time to raise them.
    I think parents should get extra time. I also think we should have more of a community in our lives. It takes a village- bit our American villages don’t give a shot about each other and it’s all us or nothing philosophy. We shake our heads at these kids who it seems every week are in the news for a shooting spree – yet no one does anything about it because in this great country you are expected to be everything, do everything and fit the stays quo while being dumbed down enough to be satisfied watching ‘keeping up with kardashins’ every day. They want us to raise kids who fit the mold, yet take away all the time and every resource to do it because ” it’s not my kid, why should I have to pay for that”. I just hope my kid remembers that old goat in office now, so when she becomes president she can veto every dn bill that comes through her office asking to keep paying our retired politicians more a year than 10 teachers working currently out together.
    I am done with my rant now.

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